Monday 27-01-2020 - 17:10

It’s not original to say that Durham has a problem with respect. Three years ago, SU President Alice Dee told the Vice-Chancellor that women SU Officers had to sit by the door in University meetings so that when (not if) senior academics attacked her personally, she could leave the room to cry without disturbing other people and drawing attention to herself. Two years ago my predecessor Megan Croll called out the harassment and intimidation she had faced in University meetings, where senior staff tried to police what she ate, what she wore and the language she used. 

They weren’t prepared to accept the disrespect they faced as women student leaders. I’m very proud that Megan was able to use the platform of the SU Presidency, and the support from her team, to call out the horrible way that women student leaders are treated and her bravery kick-started an institution wide investigation into respect, ordered by University Council and conducted by an independent Chair. 

The Respect Commission is about to report its findings. For now though, I want to share some recent experiences, and my deep disappointment and anger. I’m devastated that some of the student community want to use the language of respect, but continue to demonstrate behaviours of exclusion and petty hatred. Students can’t expect the whole University community to do better if we don’t do better ourselves. 

There are lots of ridiculous, incredible things about doing this job and I love it. When you first run for a role like this, you believe you’ll be good at it because you really care about it. I’m confident that I’m doing my job well because I speak up about the things students care about to the best of my ability.

It’s always okay that some students disagree with me on the why, what, how, when and who of the big issues at Durham. That’s what’s wonderful about leading a democratic organisation, and a good leader will take reasonable, fair criticism and use it to improve what they do. We’re a better students’ union when we deliberate and decide things together. But a handful of people have chosen unfair reasons to attack me, using the fact that I don’t agree with them as grounds for hounding me out of the post I won in a fair and free election. They claim that I’ve lied to you, that I‘ve abused powers I don’t actually hold, that I’m responsible for decisions made by others. They haven’t spoken to me about this. They’ve questioned my character and integrity, in spaces where I have no way to respond. I hope they‘re proud of the leadership they’ve shown. 

Student leaders need a thicker skin than most. People will generate an idea of who and what you are, and feel like they have ownership over you. They will decide they can do what they want to that idea of you – forgetting or not caring that your life is linked to their actions. Women student leaders will know this very well, and the Respect Commission deals explicitly with this cultural problem. I’m just the next in a line of women student leaders called bossy, manipulative, overly opinionated or ‘unsavoury’. I’m just another woman student leader who has had her motives, opinions and actions undermined and policed by people who think I’m not entitled to them, and who hide behind proceduralism, ‘tradition’ and half-truth to silence me.

I don’t think it would be right to pretend that this isn’t happening, and that it isn’t symptomatic of a wider problem. I think the right thing to do is call it out.

Undoubtedly, the harassment and intimidation I’ve faced is gendered. No one calls a man ‘manipulative’ or takes notes of the exact date and time a man has an original thought, so that they can be called out later. Let me be clear: this is misogyny. I haven’t shied away from pointing it out before and I will not now. It seems like some people will always have a problem with women who are good at their job, and will always use the same reasons to justify it.  

What would I have hoped? That any student who disagreed with me on a particular issue would say so, and give me their ideas about what they thought would work instead. We’d share a goal, discuss our different opinions, and agree the best way forward. We’d have coffee and a good outcome because we’d understand what each other wanted.

I firmly believe that this way of working is possible, desirable, and necessary. It’s the collegiate way of doing things. It should be natural behaviour at Durham, and thousands of us do it every day, and make this place better as a result.

What actually happened? Weeks of rumours, misinformation, ‘secret’ meetings, outright denials from people in positions of responsibility that they were behaving in underhand ways, Palatinate leaks, Durfess posts, WhatsApp groups. Vicious rumours behind closed doors.

If we don’t call this out, we normalise it. We allow student representation at Durham to be run like a clique behind closed doors. But we just can’t behave this way if we’re going to make any difference to the culture at this University. It’s petty and hateful and I won’t play that game. I’ve been scared by how intense and unrestrained some of the bullying and harassment that I, and other students, have faced in the past few weeks. I was given advice and warnings from the women who have been SU President before me, and I expected to have to deal with this sort of nonsense from the University. I’m so sad that student leaders have become part of that culture, and haven’t resisted it.

I’m often asked what I like most about Durham. My answer has always been that I love how much we care about each other. We have sleepless nights to make sure every Freshers’ week is sensational, we spend hundreds of hours volunteering, we take it upon ourselves to keep each other well and safe every single day. The very best part of doing my job is getting to work with people like that. People who see leadership as standing up for what they know is the right thing to do, when they could very easily just move with the crowd.

From when I was a homesick fresher until now, I’ve always believed that student leadership makes Durham different. I don’t want to stop believing it’s true and more than that, I’ll keep working to make it true. We have an ingrained culture that permits misogyny, harassment and disrespect but we also have thousands of people who want to change that. I want us to make Durham the place where people work together, lead by raising other people up, and challenge people who seek to belittle and intimidate others.